Is this real life? Mom-shaming?
When I became a mother I knew I was in for all kinds of reality checks. MOMMIN’ IS HARD. You ask any of us, and we will all agree on that. But you’ll also find us telling you that it is the most amazing and rewarding thing you’ll ever experience in your life. What I didn’t expect when I became a mother, is something called mom-shaming.
Utter disbelief. One of the feelings I felt when I realized this was literally a thing. And to hear that OTHER MOTHERS were doing this, ooohh my lord. And to realize I was being mom-shamed by people I once called “friends”- left me feeling disgusted, sad, and pissed off.
Your influence as a mother is powerful. Don’t waste it. Little eyes are watching you.
I truly believe that this shaming comes from the feeling of inadequacy. We are all comparing our lives in some way to others. Social media has all of us scrolling through our feeds, wondering how some of these mothers have it all together. Let me fill you in on a secret; there is no such thing as a perfect mother.
On Mother’s Day this year, someone was explaining how important a mothers role is and started stating that my mothering style was “new”, while someone else’s mothering was “experienced.” Punch to the face. How did a compliment turn into a comparison? And I’m sorry, mothering is not about experience. What’s good for my child may not necessarily be good for yours. And guess what- THAT’S OK. We are all entitled to our own opinions. How we choose to portray our actions, pick and choose our battles, says a lot about a person. I honestly feel very sad for these shamers.
Take my blog + Instagram page for instance; I’m sure there are individuals who think it’s ridiculous, or silly and take time out of their day to make fun of it. Let’s get real for a second. This blog is important to me. It is not to please anyone, but it’s a 5 minute read for another mom to connect with knowing that they’re not alone on this journey. I love having a space to free my mind of life’s most difficult, and best times. So what are these people gaining out of shaming other mothers? Good question.
I am a mom. I make mistakes. I am not perfect and I loose my shit (quite often). There are days I want to quit, days I make mistakes, and days I fail. But that is ok because I know no one could love my child more than me.
Regardless of the differences in parenting we all have, there’s one thing we all have in common; God gave those little children to you mama- YOU. You’re the only one that knows how to parent them, how to feed them, clothe them, how you choose to spend your time on them. Instead of shamming, why aren’t we lifting each other up. Motherhood is hard, so why the hell are we making it harder on each other.
So keep doing you, mama. Shamelessly.
XO
Kass
#historyinthesanfords
